MEN speaking with regional accents so strong I cannot understand a word of their quasi-political protests clog the airwaves of my favourite 24 hour news channels leaving me no choice but to bite the bullet and write my dissertation. However, rather than either bore you with the inner workings of Russian Foreign policy during the Primakov era, I shall delve deep into the my inner psyche and hopefully dredge up some weird and wonderful topic to enthral you with. Whilst my delving is going on, please feel free to talk amongst yourselves.
In the Clint Eastwood film, "In the Line of Fire", there is a line that is repeated by both the leading characters. "When you close your eyes, and the demon come, what do you see..?" Clint asks this of the psychotic, mad for revenge, killer (clearly the wrong line of questioning - surely akin to asking anyone who visibly insane anything, beyond ‘please leave me alone’) to which he of course gets a undeniably twisted answer. But it is his matter of fact framing of the question that is, or perhaps should be, the most alarming. Clint, who, to put this in perspective is a playing a deeply troubled Secret Service agent, asks the question with such ease, we could be led to believe that this is his opening pick-up line for bars and alike. Perhaps it is something that should be explored. But I fancy that whatever response I would get would neither be positive, or likely to launch me into a headlong dizzying romance (however, this might be more comment about me that the actual phrase). Please feel free to try it - women as well - in your local bars and night clubs.
Possible I am either too nicer a person, or simply not old enough, but when I close my eyes no demons come. It is also most that likely sleep will not be forthcoming either. Strange as it may be, my "grass is greener complex" (surely to be discussed in later issues) seems to apply to sleep. If I am attempting to read a stimulating, insightful, enquiry into the ratification of START II by the Duma, no matter how awake I am, or how interesting the book or article is, I will feel drowsy. Get me horizontal and I fall asleep (goes down well with the ladies). Even at my desk, I can often nod off. And this fascinating phenomena is not limited to academic reading. I have discovered that any episode of Star Trek will lull me gently into the land of nod (and I like star trek, although do not admit it as often as I perhaps used to). Of course I have a theory that it is the engine noise that is in the background of most scenes has the same effect on me that cars have on younger children. If anyone connected to the show is reading this, please send me a tape.
Send me the tape because when it finally comes to the sensible or structured time to sleep, I normally do not drop off quickly. See, the grass is greener. I need to trick myself into thinking that I don’t want to sleep, or I cannot allow myself to sleep. If I achieve this, after marketing my self-help book (possibly cleverly entitled "Sleep with me"), I will have an eternity of falling asleep on demand. Alas, unlike Homer Simpson, I find using reverse psychology on oneself beyond impossible.
